The Comedy Of Errors and Harry
by Weasley1200
Summary: A simple evening turns to disaster as Harry and Hermione experiment on some new feelings...
1. The Saga begins

2004

The Comedy Of Errors…and Harry

Chapter 1

_I know, I know, what's a guy to do? What's a guy to do when one of your best friends in the entire world is pregnant with your child? What's a guy to do when you know you drank too much fire whiskey at the Yule ball, and you're the one to blame for this whole fiasco? Well that's simple, keep the kid, get married, and live happily ever after! Right? Or so I thought at the time. But I'm getting ahead of myself; let me start from the beginning…_

_It was on the evening of one of the famous Yule balls. My seventh year, her seventh year. Oh right, did I forget again to mention my name? I'm Harry Potter by the way. The boy who lived, the boy with the scar, the boy who finally defeated the Dark Lord Volermort...etc…etc…etc. And her? Well, I'm taking it that you probably already know who I'm talking about. The woman who's been in my thoughts and dreams for far too long. The woman whom I'm madly in love with and have been for faaaaar tooooo long. Yes, madly. So cliché. Hermione Granger. She's the one I'm so in love with. But I'm sure you already figured that out…but anyways back to my story. _

_It was on the evening on the Yule Ball. I still don't really know why they held these dances. We weren't really celebrating anything particular but I guess we were celebrating the whole Christmas spirit thing…hence the name Yule. I had an annoying feeling though, that this was about my defeating of the dark lord the previous summer. Everybody kept congratulating me…quite annoying. It's done, it's over, move on please. I'm just going to keep hearing about in the common room from Hermione later. You know that thing about me "playing the hero" and shit. Or was that Ron? Anyways, I'm babbling on again when I'm supposed to be telling you how Hermione and me got together and…err…did naughty things. Not that I'm a big pervert and all but you know, I'm only human! Ron was the horny one of the trio. That's right, Ron Weasley my other best friend. The one who I could stay up late in the night and talk of quidditch and loads of other shit that we couldn't ever speak upon with a girl around. Including my favorite, Ron's reoccurring dream about a restaurant called "Circus Burger"…strange as it is. Anyways, I promise you this is the final time. I'll try and start this epic novel again so here goes…I'll shut up now…_

_It was our seventh year at Hogwarts School of witchcraft and wizardry. The Yule ball had ended over an hour ago, and Hermione and me were walking around the lake. It was a fairly cool night. No snow yet. It was perfect. I was a little on the tipsy side and so was she._

"Herms wasn't the Mule ball bloody fucking fantastic???!!"

"Harry…it's…the…hahahaha Yule Ball!!" She says in between laughs

"Oh err…right then!" Now I'm laughing at myself. We sit down by the lake and stare at the sky for a moment. Hermione looks gorgeous with her hair all up in a neat bun, with two strands of hair that come down in the front. I remember this afternoon when she came back from a visit to Hogsmeade with her new dress. That was when she asked me to go with her. That's right, a _girl_ asked a boy. Stop mocking me. We decided to go "as friends" but of course everyone thought we were always together. Which we weren't…yet.

"Harry, do you love me?" She almost seemed serious aside from the chronic giggles. Her eyes told me she was serious, but not the body language. It was definitely the firewhiskey kicking in. Of course me being equally drunk played along with her.

"Yes, with all my heart". She has more fits of laughter. I'm too drunk to care. "I love you sooo much Herms!" I stand up and scream from the top of my lungs.

"I LOVE HERMIONE GRANGER WITH ALL MY HEART!!!" She's rolling on the ground from laughter.

"Shhhh you'll wake up the entire castle!"

"No I won't!!

"I THINK I LOVE YOU!! SO WHAT AM I SO AFRAID OF? I'M AFRAID THAT I'M NOT SURE OF… A LOVE THAT HAS NO CURE FOR!!! I THINK I LOVE YOU ISN'T THAT WHAT LIFE IS MADE OF???!!! Oh god I'm singing the partridge family now. I collapse on the ground, and think for a second. She's still laughing hysterically. I get up again.

"NO NO Herms this one's for you. YOU CAN TELL EVERYBODY, THIS IS YOUR SONG. IT MAY BE QUITE SIMPLE BUT NOW THAT IT'S DONE. I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND…ERR WAIT! WHAT'S THE CATCH LINE?? HAHA. HOW WONDERFUL LIFE IS WHILE YOUR IN THE WOOOOOOOOOORLD!!!!!!!!!"

I finally calm down a bit, and we just sit there for a moment.

"Harry you're silly."

" I know."

"Harry…"

"Yeah?"

"I think I love you!" she started to sing it again.

"So what am I so afraid of?" I sit closer to her staring at her eyes.

"I'm afraid that I'm not sure of…"

"A love that has no cure for…" I trail off. I capture her lips. Suddenly our kisses seem to get a little too rough and she pulls away.

"Not here."

"What?" She's pulling me to my feet and is proceeding to drag me all the way up to the seventh corridor. _This isn't good? Or is it? Why is she taking me up here?_ She stops suddenly and we both look at a door that just appeared out of nowhere_. Ahh, the room of requirement_. She opens the door, and pulls me in…


	2. Letting go

The Comedy Of Errors…and Harry

Chapter 2

We enter the Room of Requirement intoxicated and stumble to the floor laughing. Both of our alcohol levels are beyond, beyond!

"God, you know what? I fuckin' love the Partridge family!" I literally yell.

"Me too!" She agrees. I try to get up, but my whole equilibrium is bounced about, so I stay on the ground. She tries to get up and copies me. We sit there back to back on the hard wooden floor, until she whips around and straddles my lap. She gives me a seductive grin and devours my mouth. _Now this is what I'm talking about._ We continue snogging for a while until I realize my shirt's being unbuttoned. I finally get some strength and stand up with her. We stop for a second and stare at each other. She attacks my mouth again and before I know it, I'm being slammed into the wall. I take matters into my own hands. I whip her around and slam _her_ into the wall. She manages to push me off. _Damn, didn't know she had that in her._ Pushing me AGAIN but this time on the bed, flat on my back. My shirt is completely gone, unforgotten on the floor.

"Perfect." I hear her say.

"What?"

"This is perfect." She captures my mouth again. She's unzipping my pants now. I'm too drunk to care. _This is wrong… but so right. I know my body isn't acting politely, but my mind is saying to stop. God! It feels so good though. _I'm in my boxers now. There's that seductive grin again. Now she's slowly, well she started slow, ripping my boxers off.

"Aww isn't that cute, little snitches." She's referring to my boxers.

"Yeah cute." I hear myself say. Now I'm completely naked and she's fully clothed. Hmm what's a guy to do? I practically rip off her shirt in one swift movement. Then her skirt, then her stockings, shoes…etc…etc. Now we're both naked.

"Ready?" I say stupidly.

"Not yet." That grin again. What the hell? What else is there to do? My clothes are off; I've got a hard-on the size of –

"Holy shit" I groan. She's doing unbelievable things with my…shit! I cannot believe this is happening. Wow. Who would of thunk Hermione Granger would be incredibly gifted in…this? She pulls up for second.

"Harry you're fucking delicious!" I'm honored. Really.

When I feel myself about to come I pull her face up quickly again.

"Not yet."

"What?" She says breathless.

"Not without me inside you." I whisper.

"Oh." She smiles. Here's where the fun begins. Well, it had already started, but now it will be twice as fun!

_The rest of the night was a complete blur…literally. I don't remember a thing. They say when two people make love, it's unforgettable, passionate, and a whole lot of other bull shit! Pardon my French, but this sure was an unforgettable night and the next morning sure proved that!_

I wake to the warm feeling of somebody in my presence. It's definitely a girl, (wipes forehead). I open my eyes very slowly and stare at the creature that had rocked my world, obviously, last night. Hermione_. Oh. My. God. I don't reme-Oh wait I think I do…_

"Uh oh." I say to myself. She starts to arouse. This isn't going to be clean. She stares at me for a second and suddenly it clicks. She realizes what's happened_. She's a quick one._

"Oh my…Harry…we…we…OH MY GOD!" I don't say anything. "Harry we-."

"Had sex."

"I gathered that." She scolds. Suddenly she jumps up but doesn't think about the fact that she's nude.

"OH GOD!"

"I know."

"You know…"

"Hey, it could have been worse! It could have been RON!!!"

"Oh Harry…"

"Well it could have been. Right?"

"Harry…just… sod off!"

"Excuse me."

"You're not." A very long waited moment of silence. "Harry, look I'm sorry. It's just surprising. I don't remember last night, and that scares me."

"It scares me too. But, I think I do recall some of last night's occurrences. In fact, if I remember correctly, you were most definitely drunk! More drunk than me! And that's saying something!"

"Oh Harry!"

"Well." But before I know it, she stands up, not caring if she's naked, and starts to get dressed. "So this is it? You're telling me you're going to walk out that door and forget about what happened?"

"Forget what?"

"Hermione." She looks at the floor and continues to pull her pants on.

"See you in charms." She says. _That was a little cold. _The door closes, which leaves me alone with my thoughts once again…the fact that she leaves me alone with my thoughts…ALONE…it scares me. Last night I was sure of it, there had to be some type of "desire" not just in her voice, but in her eyes. _I think she's scared_. Hermione is scared. _We really need to talk about this. I really need to talk to her._ So with that being thought of, I quickly found my clothes and headed for my dorm room. I find Ron there looking curious.

"Where were you last night?"

"Umm- I fell asleep…on the couch…la-late last night" I stutter

"Really?" He looks at the ceiling for a second thinking of what he's going to say. "Cause you know, I had that dream again. I tried waiting up for you."

"Circus Burger?"

"How'd you guess?!" He practically yells. I shrug my shoulders.

"Just a habit I guess." I collect my books and we head down to Charms. I find Hermione there looking rather busy at work already. I look for two seats by her but everyone had already stolen them.

"Sorry mate, guess you can't sit by your g/f!"

"Ron."

"Well, you know that's what you want her to be." He said with a smirk.

"No it's not."

"Whatever you say." The remainder of the class that silly smirk stayed plastered to his face….


	3. I'll meet you halfway

The comedy of Errors…and Harry

Chapter 3

_I'm sorry I'm sorry. I do apologize extremely for my lack of what do they call it? "Writer's block"? Boy, I sure had that!! I know it's been like what, 6 months since I've updated? I've been pretty busy working those long hard hours at the bithlo McDonalds…anyways I'll shut up now…on with the show…_

I'm lost in another daydream again. About whom? Hmm I wonder. Her. The same her who is completely ignoring me again. The famous Harry Potter is being ignored. Professor Flitwick is just rambling, rambling, rambling…falling asleep…dreaming…dreaming…hardness in my pants again… "Harry!" _What?_ "Harry wake up it's time to leave!"

"Oh sorry Ron. Fell asleep again." Rubbing my eyes.

"I noticed." He eyes me suspiciously.

"Um Ron, could I catch up with you later?" I say looking over in the direction where Hermione is gathering up her belongings.

"Yeah sure. See you in the common room." He says as he exits the classroom never taking his eyes off towards Hermione. _I think he suspects something. Oh course he does! Why do you think he gave you such a hard time about the whole sitting next to your girlfriend shit?_ "Shit." I say uncontrollably. Hermione doesn't notice. She's still preoccupied gathering up her books, quills, parchment, you name it, she's got it. That's my Hermione. I try to play it cool as I walk up to her. I clear my throat.

"Hem Hem" I manage to get out until…CRASH. I trip over a chair leg.

"That was graceful." She comments.

"Ha-ha, that was so funny I forgot to laugh." She raises an eyebrow at me. She knows what's coming.

"Hermione…" I start.

"No."

"But you haven't even let me say what I need say!"

"Because Harry, I know what you're going to say."

"How do you know?"

"You're too predictable."

"How so?"

"Well…"

"Well?????" My hands are on my hips looking straight into her eyes.

"Sirius" She whispers.

"Sorry? But what the bloody hell does Sirius have to do with anything?" She shakes her head at me.

"Harry Potter, boy who lived, always trying to make things better. Playing the hero." She states and then turns around to go out the door. It somehow registers into my thick skull. I sigh. Oy.

"Wait! Please? Would you just hear me out?" I grab her wrist and pin her to the wall of the outside corridor.

"Please Hermione? Please?" She looks up at the ceiling, then at the people walking by. She's looking anywhere but my face. I glance at the passing students too, but strange as it is I notice they have smirks on their faces. What the hell? Did they hear something about...us? Did they see us? God I hope not. I turn my head and direct my eyes towards her again. She rolls her eyes.

"Ok."

"REALLY?!"

"Yes…well? What is it you wish to say?"

"Well…that is to say it's kind of a long apology, and I can't quite get it out at the moment."

"Oh Harry!"

"Look can we talk when no one is around? Like in your room later or something?"

"Why my room?"

"Aw come on Hermione, you're the only one who gets there own room since you're head girl! And the head boy, but that's beside the point!"

"Fine." She says rather annoyingly.

"Alright then can I come up when everyone's asleep like 9 or 10?"

"10."

"10…why so late?" She rolls her eyes and taps her foot on the floor.

"Fine 10 I'll be there…ok?

"Whatever." She says dryly. _Now we're getting somewhere._

After my little chat, if you can call that a chat I went up to the boy's dormitory to find Ron. _Maybe I should tell him about what happened?_ I'm walking and I'm about to the open the doorknob when I hear the most horrific lyrics ever! NO IT CAN'T BE!!!!!!!!

**Will there come a day you and I can say**

**We can finally see each other?**

**Will there come a time we can find the time**

**To reach out for one another?**

****

**We've been traveling in circles such a long, long time**

**Trying to say hello, hello!**

**And we can just let it ride, but you're someone that**

**I'd l****ike to get to know**

****

**I'll meet you halfway, that's better than no way**

**There must be some way to get it together**

**And if there's some way, I know that some day**

**We just might work it out forever!!**

__

_ Maybe I won't-_

"Oh hell no!!! ROOOON!!" I burst open the door.

"What?" He's laying on his bed with a nudey magazine on his lap.

"You're shittin me right? You're fucking listening to…Bloody Hell, the fucking Partridge Family??!!" 

"Yeah aren't they great! Dad let me borrow this weird contraption that plays music. Aw man it's so great look how it is. It's this thin silver doughnut shaped thing!!! Wicked!" _Damn Mr. Weasley and his muggle likes!_ _Hang on!_

"Wait a minute Ron?" Ron's busy humming the tune of the song. "Ron!!" 

"Yes Harold?" 

"Don't call me that! I can understand the whole cd player thing-." 

"Is that what it's called??? A c-d play-err! Ha-ha!!" 

"Forget it." I mumble to myself. What my real intentions were was to ask Ron where in the love of god did he get a Partridge Family cd, the world may never know I guess. I roll my eyes and sit opposite him and try to think about what I need to say to Hermione to convince her how sorry I am about last night. _Trying to think, think, think_, I THINK I LOVE YOU!! Good grief. Meanwhile Ron still is enjoying his music. I can't think anymore. I need to get out of here. With that in mind I let Ron be. He doesn't even notice I leave. I go downstairs and am greeted with more smirking faces…god damnit. Still can't think straight. I leave the common room and wonder the halls for a little bit before my next classes begin. As I continue to walk, I unfortunately bump into someone who I detest the most. Malfoy. 

"Watch it!" He growls. He looks over his shoulder and finds out it was I. "Ahh Potter! So you've returned to your normal angry self once again! Ha-ha. So tell me Potter, what was she like? Did she tell you how to do this and that? Or better! Did she have a book with her??!! Hahahahaha!!" 

"I don't know what you're talking about Malfoy." _Shit I'm screwed, if he knows…then everybody knows._

"Oh come off it! Everyone knows, or at least most of them know. We watched the display from the astronomy tower and...well concluded what went on after you two got up from singing!! Boy and let me you something Potter, you can't sing for crap!! Singing the Partridge family. Good lord." He continued to mock me for a total of 5 minutes…

"I need to go."

"Yes do go I'm rather bored with back to normal Potter." 

"Fuck you!" I push him into the hall. He continues to laugh. 

"Go on now potty, go back to mudblood granger." I slam him into the wall again. 

"Don't you ever, ever (SLAM) call her a mudblood!!" He raises an eyebrow at me. His signal of saying "Yeah whatever." I let him go, and begin to leave.

"What's the matter Potter? Can't admit she wasn't the best fuck yet? Disappointed? I could help you out there." That's it. I pull out my wand and throw a hex at him. Next thing I know Malfoy's entire body is bound to the wall. Literally. "You can't leave me here! Wait until my father hears of this. HEY! Potter!!"

"Go ahead and tell him. Hell if I care!!" I walk away laughing.   
  
It's 6 by the time I return from a day from hell and everyone is heading down to eat dinner. Hermione is exiting the girls' dormitory. I walk up to her.

"Hi."

"Hi." She's looking at the floor.

"Sit next to me at dinner?" 

"Why not." She looks up and smiles. The first smile since last night… We go to dinner and eat in peace…silly smirks are everywhere though. Even Ron again is eyeing us weird. I need to talk to him about this. Probably should ask Hermione though. After dinner, we leave and sit in the common room for a while just talking. Around 7:30 Hermione leaves but gives me a look saying clearly "Remember when." 

"What the bloody hell was that all about?"

"Nothing…Ron."

"You two have been acting bonkers this entire day." 

"Yeah well…there's a lot of things on our minds" 

"Yeah and there's a lot of things on everyone else's minds! Do you know? Do you have any idea what they're saying about you two?"

"No, but I have a hunch." 

"They're saying you two shagged last night. I didn't believe it though! That's mental that is." I sat silent for a second. "I mean right? Harry?" 

"Mmm?"

"No way! You did it! I thought it was some sort of rumor. Bloody fucking hell Harry." 

"We were drunk alright?"

"I figured, I saw you drowning yourself in fire whiskey with her." Ron continued to ramble on and on about last night and what he witnessed. "So..." he says after a while. "Was it good?" 

"Christ Ron, is that all you think about?" 

"Sorry, it seems I'm now the virgin of the trio here." 

"I don't really remember anything Ron."

"Are you sure?"

"Well…there are a couple of things." I smile and blush and then feel extremely guilty for saying that. 

"Ohh??"

"Ron…" I look up at the clock. 8:00, two more hours. "I think I'll head up to bed" 

Some time later I'm sitting up in bed reading a book that Hermione gave to me during Christmas. _Magic and Me_ by: Robert Celica. Interesting read. I'm jolted out of my reading thoughts by Ron. 

"Ahh, oh -clowns- applesauce!" Another dream again. Ron's panting heavy. 

"Give them applesauce Ron." I reply without looking up from my book.

"But. I'm." 

"You tell those clowns Ron!" Then all at once he falls back into his slumber. I chuckle to myself. This happens often. Circus Burger dream again. I look to the clock 9:45. Fifteen minutes left. Oh hell. Fifteen minutes I get to tell her how sorry I am. Fifteen minutes I get to tell her how much I love her. Fifteen minutes I get to tell her I don't regret anything I did. Fifteen minutes I may loose her forever. Fifteen minutes…fourteen…. thirteen…1 minute. What! Crappers. I walk up to the stairs of her room. I knock gently. 

"Come in Harry." She obviously knows it's me. I walk in and close the door behind me. Wave my hand at her. 

"Hi." I say but for some reason she laughs. "Sorry, but what did I do?" 

"Nothing Harry nothing." _Yeah right. _I sit on her bed and look at the floor for a second. She walks over and lifts my chin up. "What is it Harry?" _Boy she really wants to torture me. _

"I know what we did was wrong." I start. My voice is shaking. I feel like i'm going to cry. She's looking straight into my eyes. "But Hermione, sorry seems to be the hardest word at the moment. Look, I didn't plan any of this…CHRIST…why is this so hard to say now?" She looks offended by my sudden outburst of language. "Hermione to be quite honest, I don't regret what we did last night…at all." I'm waiting for it. Either a _"YOU PIG!" "GO AWAY!"_ _"NEVER TALK TO ME AGAIN!",_ or a slap in the face. Either of those would have made sense, but what I got was something totally ironic and so UnHermione like. 

"I don't regret it either." _Excuse me? Was she not the one who walked out of the room not caring at all that I was still in that bed afraid of what to say to her? Was she not the one who ignored me all of today? Was she not the one who obviously wanted to forget about what happened between us? What the he-_"Harry, don't look at me that way. Look I know I've been angry today, but…" 

"Hermione I love you. Did you know that? And not just best friend love. I really really love you! For you." Her eyes never leave mine. 

"Excuse me? Harry that has got to be the lamest _come on_ since…well I don't know when!" 

"It isn't some _come on_ Hermione. I'm speaking the truth." She begins to pace the room. 

"Harry if you want to tell me the truth then tell me that you don't love me and that I was just some shag for the evening. Tell me that please. I'm dying to hear that!" She says sarcastically. 

"You don't believe me do you? The one thing that I've been keeping to myself for the past 3 years…3 years Hermione…god damnit why won't you believe in what I sa-!" 

"Because it's bullshit Harry!" 

"It's not bullshit-!" She lets out a long growl. 

"You don't love me." 

"Yes I do. And nothing you or anyone else can say can make me change the feelings I have towards you. If you don't have anything whatsoever towards me then so be it. Hermione Granger I love you. And if you don't like this new arrangement well then tough noog noogs!" The last 10 minutes was nothing but yelling but if all it took was two simple words to change her mood well then fire away! She laughs at my last statement. Here I am telling her I love her and nothing can change that, and yet she's laughing at my speech. "What could possibly in this godforsaken moment be so funny? Please tell?" 

"Tough noog noogs?? Dear god Harry who came up with that word?" I guess it was kind of funny _noog noogs_. Where had I heard that before though? 

"Sirius." I whisper. She gets serious again. 

"I'm sorry, I didn't know." As if saying Sirius's name was a sin.

"Oh Hermione don't apologize for that it was pretty stupid." 

"I can't stay mad at you." 

"Huh?" 

"I can't stay mad at you. You always somehow, someway make me laugh. Two words can make a difference." 

"Three words can make a difference too." She looks at the floor and sits next to me. 

"Harry I don't know what I feel right now. I'm lost and confused. Maybe if we take things-." 

"Slow? That's fine. How about we don't bring attention to ourselves and keep it in private." 

"No telling Ron?" 

"No telling Ron." She smiles at me. Things were clearing up. 

"I'm really glad you came up here and talked about this." 

"Me too...you really don't regret what we did?" 

"For some reason I don't. Weird. I think it brought us closer. For me at least." 

"Me too." We sit in silence for a while and just enjoy each other's company. "I guess I'll head on down and up to bed." I say being my dumb funny self again. She laughs. I love her laugh. 

"Goodnight Harry. She kisses me on the nose and then on the forehead. 

"Goodnight angel." I say. She laughs again. I was being serious this time.

_A/n How about that! 2529 words in this chapter alone…well that's including my author note on top but whatever! I'm really sorry I took me a century to write this! I love to get reviews…positive reviews ahem one pissed off ex- harry potter fan. Whatever her name is. Anyways I'd like to thank princess poot for that little show on the review list and I'd also like to thank prettie-duckie (thank you for sticking up for me!) and my 7 other remaining reviewers! Enchantress007 (look I updated it for you!) Swimchick1614, michelle moonshine, dracolover713, ears91, trubluhpfanatic, james jago, and anyone else I may have forgotten!! Thank you all. Whoo hoo!_   
  



	4. Part of me

The comedy of Errors…and Harry

Chapter 4- Part of me

AN- Look a new chapter!! Yeah.

_Minutes turned to hours, hours turned to days, days turned to weeks, and weeks turned into months and before I knew it, that little not so innocent deed on that not so cold night, found myself unable to leave Hermione's side. Permanently. Everywhere I went, she'd be right by me. Literally, joined at the hips…well almost. But, how was that different from any other day of the week you ask? Well…it just was. She's different. She. Hermione. I can't believe it took us so long to get where we were that day. Sometimes I would wonder, what would life have been like if I hadn't met her**. DON'T YOU EVER THINK THAT!!!!!!!!** Then that would happen. I would end up stressing myself out even more. It would and will always be a hidden curiosity of mine to wonder "what if?" or "what not?" But, anyways…that's beside the point._

_It was about a month and half after our little "interlude". Nothing you could have said would have made my days bad. Not even rainy days on quidditch could send my highs to lows. And that was saying something obviously. All it would take was a simple thought of her. Her hair, her lips, her clothes, her scent, etc, etc, etc…. I'm lost. _Speaking of her. I haven't seen her since this morning. Which is odd. Very odd…I catch Ron sneaking a glance towards Lavender's direction. That boy makes is so obvious. Any fool can see. I sigh out of frustration. I need to get out of here…please…. let me go!!! Need air to breathe. DING. Finally. I practically run out of muggle studies by myself. Yes I'm taking muggle studies now. Hmm I wonder why? It only took switching this and that, dropping this for that but hey! It all worked out in my schedule right? God go go go go!! GOD! Stupid people are so slow at walking!! I haven't seen Hermione since this morning at breakfast. Four hours ago. FOUR HOURS AGO!! Almost there, almost there, almost there. I run straight through the passing crowds towards Gryffindor common room and find her reading a book on a rather comfy looking couch. Who would have guessed? She looks up but what I'm greeted with isn't a friendly smile, not a hey hottie how are you today, nor a hey best friend wanna go snog later kind of smile, but a wane weak forced kind of smile. I return what's reflected towards me.

"Hey Hermione." I say as I pat her on her leg. Obviously to anyone else would be a rather platonic gesture, but to us was a secret message simply saying _"I'm there for you babe."_

"Hey you." She's looking at her feet.

"What? What is it?" I lift her chin with my hand.

"It's nothing Harry, don't worry about it." She flashes one of biggest most false phony looking Hermione Granger smiles ever. I laugh at what she's trying to do. Cover up. My little cover girl. I pretend like I'm not annoyed. "It's just that I'm not quite feeling like myself today or actually, haven't for the past couple of days really."

"Really what is it? Your brain? Thinking too much?" I laugh at my own joke. She doesn't.

"My stomach actually."

"Why? Something you ate perhaps?"

"Maybe…" She still looks at the floor.

"Hermione…do you wan-."

"HARRY!!! HERMIONE!!! There you two are!!" There goes_ Oblivious Inopportune Ron_ once again. Do you have any idea how hard it is not to tell your best friend that you're in love with your other best friend, to tell him that we're secretly dating, that that one nightstand led us to where we are today? Any idea?? You'd think after all these little interruptions he'd get the hint, but no, it's_ Oblivious Inopportune Ron_. Whatever. "Where you two been??? It's lunch time and they're serving the most delicious looking apple pie Harry!"

"Ron there _are_ more important things than apple pie. Hermione's not feeling well."

"Really what's wrong?"

"I don't know…"

"Food may help." He looks dreamy, and quite obviously _probably _isthinking of that damn pie again.

"Ron the last thing I want now is food…"

"Well alright…suit yourself." He says looking disappointed.

"Ron why don't _you_ go down and eat the delicious looking pie…is that the only reason you came up here?"

"Well…yea pretty much." He looks wide-eyed at me. Like it's the craziest thing to miss, apple pie.

"Look, I'll see you down there ok?" I say as nicely as possible.

"Ok…bye for now then." Then he walks casually away.

"Bye Ron." We say in unison. I sigh out of relief and frustration. I swear to god he just pops out of nowhere.

"Hermione you sure you're ok?"

"Yeah, I think I'm going to go lie down in my room."

"Well alright, you know…Her-."

"I know Harry, really I think I'll be fine. I'm just not feeling that well today. I'll see you later k?

"Ok." And then she does something that she's never done before. She kisses my cheek in PUBLIC and what better place then the Gryffindor common room! Nobody suspects a thing though. I watch her as she painfully walks up the stairs to her room. She turns around just as she's about to say the password when she shoots one of her fake cover up smiles, I return the same. I'm completely lost as to what's really going on in that stomach of hers…__

Well I had to admit that that damn pie was worth the fuss Ron put me through. When we finished eating I ran up to Hermione's room to check up on her before I went to Potions with Ron. After I said the password I quickly descend to her bedroom to find it empty, but quickly I'm attracted to a soft glow coming from the bathroom door. As I enter, softly knocking on the door even though it's already open might I add I find her on the floor crying her eyes out. I run to her and gather her in my arms.

"Hermione baby, what happened?"

"I-I c-can't s-stop throwing up…" She sputters in my shoulder. I smooth her hair back.

"Awww poor baby." I don't know what I did but as soon as that last word came out she started all over again.

"Oh Harry…."

"What did I say? What? Hermione what is it?"

"ARE YOU COMPLETEY INSANE!!!!!!!!_(AN-I just saw Malcolm's mom on TV. Lol) _isn't it obvious?" She breaks down harder.

"Guess so…."I mumble answering her first question.

"Harry I'm I'm-."

"Yes?"

"I'm I'm…going to hurl again!" I turn around just as her head plows into the white porcelain bowl for what had to be the umpteen time that hour. Something's not right. What's so obvious? I have a women who has had stomach problems the past couple days, whom is now throwing up without interruption… Stomach virus? Yeah that must be it. Just then she stands up and brushes her teeth. She's still crying. She's trying her best to brush her teeth while cry at the same time.

"Here." I take her toothbrush out of her mouth and fill up a glass of water to rinse out the remaining foam. After she's cleaned up, she hugs me tightly.

"I'm so scared."

"Of what? The pain? Let me take you down to the hospital wing."

"Harry!"

"What?" I can't stand looking at her anymore. She depresses me when she cries. Of course, I've never seen her like this before. Not ever like this. Something's wrong. "Baby, what's wrong?"

"Don't say that…"

"What? Baby? Don't say baby why?"

"Harry-I'm I'm-."

"Spit it out!"

"PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!" _Ohhhhhh…. welll… ummmmmm_

"Ohhhhhhhhh….well…..ummmmmmm."

"Yeah, I knew you'd say that!" She pushes me out of the bathroom and locks the door in my face. _Shit. Come on say it._

"SHIT!" I slump down to the floor and you know what? Fuck it. I cry. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I did a spell on myself this afternoon when you were at lunch." Her voice is muffled from the door being closed.

"Hermione can I come in…. please?" I'm so desperate for an answer as to what to do. She opens the door a crack. Hinting for me to come in. As I open it, I dry my tears with my hand and walk in. I've never seen such a sight. Hermione lost and confused. No book could tell you how to get out of this mess.

"Hermione I'm never _ever_ going to leave you."

"Of course, that's what you except them to say. I hear it all the time."

"Hear what? I'm not them Hermione I'm me."

"They always say, "Oh baby I'll never leave you." And then they do!!!

"Hermione please, I love you…it's just how did…."

"I can't believe you have the nerve to ask HOW! Harry you know just how this happened. The night we were drunk." She closes the toilet seat and sits on it. Her head is in her hands. "And even if we were sober, I don't think I could have stopped." I'm lost in words now. I have no idea what to say. Everything I've tried to say only ends up ten times worse. "I'm sooo scared Harry." I kneel in front of her and lift her chin with my finger.

"I'm scared too." Her face scrunches up and she cries once more. She slides off the toilet onto the floor with me and buries her face in my chest.

"Do you want this child Harry?" How do you answer that kind of question about wanting a kid when you're still in your adolescence practically?

"Hermione this is a part of me, a part of my responsibility too. I'll do anything and everything I can to make it all better. I'll try and support you as much as I can. I promise. I've still got plenty of money in my parents volts." She looks up scared.

"No noo that's your parent's money. I could never ask you for that."

"Hermione you are my life. I have enough of that money to live on until I'm 45 mind you! Don't worry, I have enough." She starts to look brighter as the words keep flowing out of my mouth.

"Thank you." She whispers.

"Hermione don't thank me. I'm the one to blame on all of this…it's my fault you're…" _That sounded wrong. _I stop right there.

"I knew you should have pulled out sooner…" _Oh my god…I cannot believe she just said that out loud._

"Christ Hermione…I can't believe we're discussing that!" The ironic thing about that comment was that she was laughing about it!

"What "we"? It was me who said it. You should have pulled out earlier!"

"Do you really think that possible? For any guy? Please I'd like to know one guy that can pull out _right_ when it's happening."

"Oh whatever. Guys always know when it's going to happen!" She's smiling now. Ok she's blaming me for not pulling out my beef from her taco fast enough. The poor kid's the size of a walnut and he's already being treated like he's nothing. No wait correct that, Shit is more like it!

"Hermione Granger." I raise my eyebrows at her. I start laughing now.

"Yes? I love you and I'm really glad you said what you said earlier. I'm happy now that we're having this illegitimate child." What great parents we'll be. Please somebody frame this picture on the wall and caption it _a true family Kodak moment._

"Oh my god...I love you too, and …and I'm glad we're having this illegitimate child together also!" I stand up and pull her to her feet. "What the hell are we to say when our kid asks us how old we are? He's eventually going to figure it out." She looks serious again.

"He? Planning ahead aren't we?"

"I want a boy." I say shyly.

"Yes Harry, I do realize that but…well we'll tell him _or_ her together ok? When the times appropriate."

"I should write a book on my life, between Voldermort and being a father at 17…my life's pretty wild."

"You're pretty wild." I blush.

"You were pretty wild in bed." I lace my hands with hers. "We're going to be some pretty wild parents you know?" She nods.

"I love you." I kiss her square on the mouth. For a few wonderful, _magical_ seconds I was taken away to another world. Harry and Hermione world. Ah yes I cherish these moments, sneaking make out sessions in broom closets, sneaking to her room late at night, fantasizing _about _Harry and Hermione world, and releasing my built up sexual tension in the shower thinking of only her! Yes, for a few brief moments I was away from all of our problems, babies, people, school, teachers, homework, etc, etc. She pulls away. _Awww._

"We really need to tell Ron." She looks sad again.

"I know. We'll tell him together all right. Not today."

"Tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow." Just then she jumps in the air and I catch her with her arms around my neck. Her legs around my waist. A perfect position for some serious shaggable time. She looks so happy.

"We're parents Harry. You're a father!"

"I'm happy too!" I really am. In a strange sort of way. I put her to the ground and we walk hand in hand to the bed. She sits down. I just stand and think.

"What's wrong Harry?" There's a silly smirk on her face. I can't believe she's taking this news so well all of a sudden. Shit If I was a girl, I'd be freaking out.

"How are you so calm about this? I mean…just a few minutes ago you were…well, really upset."

"I was upset, and I still am of course, but I don't know…what you said made it all right with the world I guess. Saying you'll support me and using your parent's money for us. That was really sweet of you Harry. I mean we can go and fix this right now and never have to deal with it ever again or we can work together and build on it. Do you want this child Harry? I mean do you really want it? Or do you want me to have an-."

"No. Don't ever say that word. I'm not like that. I'm not about to kill an innocent child because we abused our don'ts with the dos. I want it."

"I do too." She starts to cry this time. Not sad tears but happy tears. She stands up and I meet her. We hug for a few precious minutes, and reluctantly pull away.

"I'm so late for Potions now."

"I think Snape will manage without you being tortured."

"Me too."

"Well?"

"Well?"

"What now?"

"I guess…move on right?"

"Yeah. Harry?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you mind skipping the rest of classes today to stay with me? I'm still not feeling well." She digs her toe in the carpet nervously.

"Never." She looks up smiling.

"Really?"

"Really. I'd spend the rest of my life skipping the world just to be with you…" She starts to cry again. _Raging hormones._

"Where do you come up with these things? They're so beautiful." _Huh?_

"I don't know, my head?" I swear to god I say the dumbest things off the top of my head. Christ, compare me to Ray Romano, and you'd find us alike…_very _alike. She giggles. I love that sound.

"You're so cute."

"I know."

"Come here." She pulls me to the bed and lies down on her back. I lay on my side next to her with my elbow propped up. I place my other hand on her stomach.

"I love you." My eyes are gazing at her stomach. I look up at her and she's smiling. "And you." I sit up and kiss her. Falling asleep shortly after with my head in the crook of her neck, my hand still on her stomach…

A-N- Probably wasn't as funny as the other one…oh well…review if you'd like! Remember the more reviews I get, the more likely I'll update faster. By the way I was listening to the Partridge family as I wrote this! God I fuckin love their songs…

Weasley1200


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